Frazzled is something I know well—that frantic, chaotic, and overwhelmed energy trying to get ALL THE THINGS done. It’s not fun and it led me to a long-period of suffering and burnout. Whether you’re feeling extra fatigued or at the burnout stage, here are seven steps to get you moving from frazzledom (i.e., living in frenetic, exhausting energy) to serenity.
Take a Break
Taking a break is essential, and I mean a real break—whether it’s an extended period of absence from work, a vacation, a long weekend, or a day off—allows your body and mind to rest and reset.
Rest (which does not include lying on the couch scrolling TikTok—yes, guilty) reduces stress hormones and replenishes well needed physical, emotional, and mental energy.
Stepping away from responsibilities, away from all the “must’s” and “should’s” can also help to clarify what changes are needed in your life by giving you time to reconnect with yourself and your surroundings, to enjoy the moment, and reflect on what truly brings you joy.
For busy and active brains (thanks, ADHD!), the mind needs to rest just as much as the body. Walking in the woods, playing with a pet, and meditation all work wonders for mind, body, and soul.
If your first thought is “Break? I don’t have time for a break!” I would ask you to consider these two questions:
- How is your busyness serving you? Or, what does your busyness allow you to avoid? (Often, there’s uncomfortable thoughts or emotions that are being blocked from coming through.)
- What are you missing out on by not taking a break? (This is usually a case of not being in touch with your values, which leads to …)
Connect or Reconnect with Your Values
Feeling frazzled and burnout often come from putting time and energy into things that aren’t truly aligned with who we are and what we want.
For instance, even though as an academic I was working on important topics (mental health, victimisation), I didn’t feel like my research was having the impact I wanted or that I was truly helping people, and much of my workday was unfulfilling (hello, admin). What I really value is talking to people, helping them overcome their challenges, and living with more peace and purpose.
So, take some time to connect—or reconnect—with your values. Ask yourself:
- What really matters to me?
- What brings me joy and fulfillment?
- What do I love spending time doing?
Avoid getting sidelined by “should’s” e.g., “I’ve spent X years [in this career/ this relationship], I should be grateful for what I have and stick with it”.
If you’re unsure where to start, there’s loads of quizzes/checklists online to explore values. Pick one and see what values resonate with you.
It’s also worth noting that values can change over time. For the majority of teenagers, popularity and social status are highly valued, whereas for working adults, leadership and work-life balance are more important.
Once you’ve identified your top 3 values, it’s a case of reorganising and realigning your life to prioritise what you value most. You’ll then start feeling less overwhelmed and more at ease.
Set Boundaries and Stick to Them
Learning to set and maintain boundaries is key to regaining or establishing balance. Start by noticing which events or people consistently drain your energy and begin to say no to those activities or requests—WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY.
If you’re a chronic people pleaser (also guilty), check out People Pleasing vs. People Serving: How Serving Others Empowers You.
Pleasing everyone except yourself actually serves no one, and there’s always a cost, usually to your mind, body, and/or spirit. Saying yes to things you don’t actually want to do means saying no to things that truly nourish you.
Remember that you are entitled to set aside time for yourself and protect your energy—and I don’t use that word lightly. To be clear, we’re not entitled to anything from anyone else, but we are entitled to our own physical, emotional, spiritual, material, and time boundaries.
Self-Care is Non-Negotiable
As infants, we relied on adults to take care of our needs. As we gain independence we begin to do more for ourselves: feeding, dressing, washing. As adults, these basic needs remain, but we also develop others: alone time for reflection, meaningful relationship, intellectual stimulation, creative expression, exercise, [insert YOUR self-care needs here—note that self-care is more than just taking a bubble bath].
Although it can sometimes feel selfish or indulgent, self-care is essential to wellbeing.
Step 1 is to figure out what your self-care needs are, as they’re different for everyone. Perhaps you’re someone who needs to run for an hour everyday, or someone who needs quiet time sitting in nature. It doesn’t matter what it is or if it’s different to what other people need, what matters is that it is nourishing and supportive to your wellbeing.
Step 2 is to practice taking this time for yourself every day—even if you just start with 5-minutes—and build from there.
Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Taking care of your own needs first enables you to pour more into others.
Streamline and Simplify
Science shows us that decision fatigue is real. As fatigue kicks in and cognitive processing declines, our ability to perform rapid decision-making diminishes. In people with executive functioning differences (ADHD, autism), the effects can be even stronger.
Deciding what to eat, what to wear, when to clean, when to exercise, how to exercise every. single. day. can be exhausting. It drains your energy more than you might realise.
Simplify your daily routines by cutting down on unnecessary decisions. Here are a few ways you can cut back on decisions:
- Create a capsule wardrobe or uniform.
- Plan weekly meals and shopping lists.
- Schedule routine tasks like cleaning.
When your routines are streamlined, you free up mental space and energy, which allows you to make better decisions on the stuff that really matters.
Delegate and Seek Support
Shout out to all the women who are independent (throw your hands up at me!).
Although independence is important and empowering, it can be draining if we end up doing everything alone. I’m very guilty of this and asking for help does not always come easily.
But, just because we can do it all, doesn’t mean we have to. It’s okay to want and need others to support us.
Ask for help or delegate tasks at home or work. If nobody is around to help, pay someone to do the tasks you dislike: put a value on your hourly rate, then anything that you can get done more cheaply by employing someone else to do it is a great investment.
By leaning on others, you’ll free up time and space for things you truly want to do.
Work with a Coach
When I was burned out, I did all of the above, and while they certainly helped, it was a spiritual awakening that gave me the ultimate sense of peace and freedom.
My mission is to help other leaders and overachievers on their journey, to awaken their authenticity to access their own peace, purpose, and prosperity, to lead with soul.
You can certainly get there on your own, as I did, but you can get there a lot faster and more effectively with someone is dedicated to helping you.
If that kind of 1:1 guidance sounds good to you, check out my signature coaching program The Luminary™️.
Ready to Reclaim Your Energy?
If you’re tired of feeling frazzled and ready to reclaim your time and energy, now is the time to take action.
Book a call with me today and let me help you create a life that is peaceful, purposeful, and aligned with who you truly are.