Self-doubt can be crippling. It’s a common experience, even among leaders, and especially among overachievers. That person (celeb, writer, world leader, sport star) you look up to who exudes confidence, yep, they’ve faced it, too.
Personally, self-doubt has been like an old annoying acquaintance, pecking at me throughout every life stage and experience: public speaking (”Am I going to embarrass myself and face lifelong humiliation?”—No), setting boundaries (”Am I being unreasonable? Am I being difficult? Am I allowed to need this?”—No, No, and Yes), and major life changes (”If I quit my job, will I end up homeless and living on the streets?”—Possibly, but extremely unlikely). The result of self-doubt is procrastination, analysis-paralysis, and staying stuck.
Throwing self-doubt out of the window, making decisions aligned in mind, body, and soul, and taking action will do your confidence, leadership, and personal growth wonders. Here are six steps to help you stop the doubt and step into your power instead.
Step 1: Identify the Source of Your Self-Doubt
Self-doubt typically stems from an interplay of past experiences (e.g., critical family members), societal conditioning (e.g., believing certain careers or life paths are unsuitable for your gender/race/age etc), and external pressures (e.g., your colleagues snippy and demanding communication style). These influences can shape beliefs about ourselves and our capabilities, and if not addressed, can lead to persistent feelings of inadequacy and imposter syndrome.
Understanding the root of your self-doubt is the first step in the journey.
Action: Close your eyes and bring to mind the first time you remember doubting yourself. Ask yourself:
- When do I first remember feeling self-doubt?
- Who else was there?
- What did they say or do?
- In what ways have their words or actions stayed with me and affected the way I show up in the world?
- Allow yourself to release the words/actions of others and accept yourself.
Step 2: Challenge Your Inner Critic
Once you’ve recognised where the self-doubting thoughts originate you can begin to challenge them. Our minds often play tricks on us, presenting old criticisms, beliefs, and emotions as facts.
Action: When self-doubt arises, ask yourself “How true is this?”. Then, begin to counter your negative thoughts with a positive or neutral statements. It doesn’t have to be so positive that it feels unbelievable (e.g., “I always perform perfectly and exceptionally”). You could replace “I’m always failing” with “I am capable and growing”.
Consistent practice makes it easier to recognise self-doubting thoughts and replace them with thoughts that serve you better. Being present and aware of your thoughts is needed to really nail this, which is where mindfulness and meditation work amazingly.
Step 3: Embrace Your Achievements, Big and Small
Self-doubt has a sneaky way of overshadowing your accomplishments and diminishes their significance so that you don’t fully appreciate and internalise your successes.
By consciously acknowledging and celebrating achievements, major milestones and even small, little victories, it’s possible to cultivate a stronger sense of self-worth. This practice helps to reshape self-perceptions and boost confidence in future challenges.
It’s also helpful for reframing your negative thoughts into neutral or positive thoughts (Step 2), as you’ll have lots of examples to draw from.
Action: Write an “Achievements List.” Include all of your accomplishments, skills, and positive qualities—they can be personal or professional. Now is not the time to be modest. If you struggle to think of any, ask a supportive friend, family member, colleague, or supervisor to help remind you. Review this list when self-doubt emerges to remind yourself of your achievements and capabilities—and all of the good decisions you made along the way to get you to those achievements.
Another tip is to create a “Nice Notes” folder, where you store all of the kind words and messages that people have sent to you, thanking you for your help or assistance. This way, you’re reminded of the positive impact that you’ve had on the lives of others.
Step 4: Shift from Fear to Trust
Now you’ve done the background work, you can more easily replace fear-based thinking with inner confidence and trust. You’re well aware how fear-driven decisions undermine you and your leadership. This step counteracts that, and is the cornerstone of trusting yourself and your intuition.
So rather than procrastinating and seeking ALL THE INFORMATION before making a decision, staying stuck in your head, you can go inward instead and make decisions aligned in mind, body, and soul. When you know how to listen to your body from a place of peace instead of fear, your body will give you all of the information you need to make the right call.
Action: When you have a decision to make, sit quietly without distractions. Imagine sinking down from your analytical brain into your heart. Bring the options to mind one by one. Pay attention to how your body reacts to each choice—expansive, lightness, warmth, or ease versus tightness, heaviness, tension, or discomfort. Trust the feelings, as your bodily signals are often more honest than your overthinking mind.
Step 5: Take Bold, Imperfect Action
Action is the best antidote to self-doubt. Taking steps, even small ones, helps to build confidence and momentum.
As a recovering perfectionist, I know the idea of taking imperfect action can feel uncomfortable, but, getting comfortable with the messy and unknown will speed you toward the actions and outcomes that are right for you and you can be proud of.
Action: When you’ve chosen an option, pick an action that challenges your comfort zone. It could be deciding to change how you run meetings, sharing your ideas with a wider audience, setting a boundary, or show up to an event as your true self—without the social mask. Each step forward will strengthen your self-esteem and get you closer to the most confident and powerful version of you.
You could also check out The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown.
Step 6 (BONUS): Surround Yourself with Positive, Confident, and Kind People
This tip is a little different from the others but it’s just as important. Who you spend your time with significantly impacts the perceptions you hold about yourself and others, your emotions, and your wellbeing. Science shows us that social networks are contagious, which means that both positivity and negativity can spread easily. As such, we need to be mindful about who we spend our time with.
If you want to feel self-assured, positive and confident, it’s best to limit your time with critical naysayers and those who constantly question themselves. Seek out people who are supportive, uplifting, and inspiring.
Action: Evaluate your relationships, especially the five people you spend the most time with. Actively seek out connections with people who encourage you, both personally and professionally. Consider joining new groups or clubs to meet new people, or work with a coach to build your confidence.
Boldly Step into Your Power: Conquer Self-Doubt Today
Overcoming self-doubt is a process. Remember that your unique abilities are valuable and deserve recognition—don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, including yourself. Step into your power, make bold and confident decisions by checking in with your body and soul, and lead with clarity.
Ready to deepen your growth and leadership potential? Download the free Achiever Audit, request to book a 1:1 call with me, or check out my signature coaching program Awakened Achievers™️.